Built-in Networking: You can crash several PC`s all at once. No need to buy Novell Personal Netware or LANtastic to crash.

Microsoft Network: Connect with other Windows 98 users and talk about your crash experiences. Support groups in different cities will be organized.

PnP: Plug and Pray (that it works)

Multimedia: Experience the immense sight and sound of crashing.

Compatible with existing software: It will also crash your existing software.

Increased Productivity: You will need to increase your budget to buy more products like RAM and HardDrives. Better yet, get a new computer! That`s product-ivity.

User-Friendly: Picture of clouds

State of the Art: Pay for Bill`s next bid for a work of art.

Macintosh-like: It took Microsoft 14 years and it`s not even original.

Online Registration: Dial into Microsoft and let them snoop around your harddrive. This will guarantee you a place in Microsoft`s files for the rest of your life.

MS Plus: More money for Bill`s plus side.

Optimize: It will increase the utilization of your hard drive and cpu so much so that you`ll end up upgrading your system. See "Increased Productivity".